The Yin and Yang of Team Sports –
Try to describe the feeling of cold, if you can’t use the concept of hot. We only know the day, because there is a night. “Just think of how many concepts in this duality belief system depend on opposites: A person isn’t tall unless there is a belief system that includes short. Our idea of life couldn’t exist without that of death”, explains Dyer in his book Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life. In this series of Change Your Thoughts, Change the Game, we explore this juxtaposition in sports.
So how do we expect to describe a win, if there isn’t a loss? This is a loaded concept, because as a western society we don’t respect both sides of the law of duality. The Yin and the Yang. Only the side that we believe to be better for whatever reason. We don’t have to like both sides. Just respect both sides and that they both have a very valuable role. In the sports world, we all understand there is a winner and a loser (except those who think that not keeping score is a good idea). The universe works under the law of duality…why do you think we have a night and a day?? So we need a winner and a loser. The problem is, that we think one is better than the other. The winner is always better right?? Or is it?
Let’s take this a step further. Let’s look at this as if there is a dependency on each other, that a winner and a loser is what makes a Game. A Game does not make a winner and a loser. (Pause for a minute and noodle that one). It is the winner/loser combination that makes it a complete circle.
Perhaps look at it this way. Imagine playing baseball, soccer, lacrosse or basketball with half a ball? Or half of the ball was bigger and better than the other half. It wouldn’t work as well.
Our challenge, is that we judge. We judge what is beautiful, and what is ugly. We judge the winners and we judge the losers. We judge each side as if they were separate, when they are actually one. Remember, you can’t play with half of a ball. Same holds true here.
Think of the value of losing a game. It is from a loss, that we see a better play, or a better way of performing. Ask any Olympian who is a motivational speaker. Their greatest lessons who made them who they are today, did not come out of a win, but from a loss. They are grateful for the loss.
The law of duality also needs balance. A team that is so stacked and always wins, or constantly beats other teams by a healthy margin is no fun to play. And after a while, the athletes on that winning team, start to lose the enjoyment of winning. It becomes expected, the team becomes complacent as the competition does not make them stronger, their egos get the best of them, and the team that was once cohesive, seems to lose what they once had.
The Law of Duality applies in every corner. Today your player had a great game, compared to the previous game which may have not been so good. They need both to feel, see and experience when they are in flow, when they are desiring vs allowing. What if instead of criticizing our kids for their “off game”, we helped them to see, feel and observe the difference between the two. Without our judgment! Because they need both, so let them have both!
Same holds true for the officials of the game. There WILL be good calls and bad calls. There must be for the law of duality to exist.
Try this:
- The next time your team is losing, watch the game with more respect for the loser then the winner; Do the same when you team is winning.
- Ask your player, what was the most valuable thing they learned from the game they just lost?
My guess is they would not have had that experience from the win.
- Ask your player what was the most valuable thing they learned from the game they just won? Compare it to the lesson from a game they lost. Which is a more valuable life lesson.
- Ask yourself the same questions.
- Watch the game knowing that there will be good calls and bad calls. It is a universal law, don’t yell at it!!
By understanding the law of duality within a game setting, you can change your thoughts, and therefore your perceptions of the game. Change your thoughts and you will change the game!